In mid July, my friend Winter posted the following comment on FaceBook and it has been stuck in my head since."...thinks it's sad that there are some women who would rather be somebody else's trophy than their own."
My comment to this was that this was seriously sad, but that being your own trophy can be very lonely.
Especially in this city that I love, New Orleans. Most of the available men are just looking for a one night stand and the thought of actually having a woman as a friend is absurd to them. Let alone a woman who has a mind of her own, that's totally frightening to them.
I once asked a lovely man who came into the bookshop regularly to see me, if we could have coffee next time he was in the area. Sadly, I have not heard from him or seen him since. Apparently in "man language" having coffee means having his children...
I have pondered why believing in yourself frightens people, and this what I came up with:
- Most people need to be in control of everything
- Most people believe they are right about everything
Well, "Most People" I'm here to tell you to get over yourself. I took a class many years ago and it taught me two important things:
- The only person or thing you have control of is yourself.
- The power of the 3. In life, you only have 3 options for everything that happens: you can accept it, change it, or leave it.
Notice that "control everything" is not listed. Since the only person or thing you do control - is yourself, the change option is changing something in yourself. Nobody knows everything, that would be far too exhausting. But 3 options for everthing, how simple is that.
You can apply them to everything...believe me I've tried. If you stick to this, life is pretty good. Of course sometimes your memory fades and you forget the power of 3, but you'll be back. This is part of being your own trophy, showing people that you don't fall apart at adversity. You use the one thing you can control (yourself) to resolve your issues.
Who knows what may happen from day to day. But I will always be happy knowing I control my life, I am in charge of how I act in a relationship or not, and I will not stifle my beliefs and ideas for anyone. And I will treat people as I want to be treated.
Most importantly, I will always be My Own Trophy!
