Later Wednesday he texted me and thanked me for the pleasant conversation. Thursday he texted, Happy Thanksgiving, Then I didn't hear from him again until Sunday at 1:30PM, when he left me a message:
- Apologizing for not calling me sooner.
- Inviting me an party at 4PM, Sunday.
- His MOTHER'S birthday party at a hotel!
He was at work when he left the message, so I politely texted him: "Thank you for the invitation, but I'm busy today." His response, "OK."
As I explained this to my coworkers: Ted and Susie, I elucidated, that I didn't even know his last name, so he is listed in my phone as Mike Speedee. Yet, he wanted me to meet his mother. They both agreed, that what I should be calling him is Speedee Mike. A number of friends have theories about what his issue may be...so y'all pick the alternate ending.
- He wants to poison me and taxidermy me to sit on the couch next to him forever and ever.
- He wants to introduce me to his mother as his future wife...
- He wants to lure me to a hotel and have his way with me...
Further proving that every man I've met in this city is either: married, gay, or crazy (of the religious zealotry kind), and sometimes, all three. The first two traits: married and gay are not bad traits in a man, if he's just looking for friendship. The third and all three together, can be kicked to the curb.
Meanwhile, I'm still available for dinner.
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